By Daniel Korleski, MBA
Emotions are powerful, and it’s no secret that they can influence our financial decisions—sometimes without us even realizing it. Why is it so hard to keep emotions in check when it comes to money?
The answer often lies in our early experiences. Our money habits are shaped from a young age. For instance, someone who knows they should save rather than spend might struggle to do so because they have an emotional attachment to spending. Even though they recognize it could be a harmful habit (hindering their ability to save), the immediate satisfaction can feel rewarding. The reality is that our emotions do play a significant role in our financial choices.
Let’s explore how these habits are formed and how we can reshape them to make more rational, emotion-free decisions about our finances.
The Money Script
Do you sometimes feel like the discipline to make rational and well-thought-out financial decisions must be too good to be true? Because no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stick to it? Well, I am sure there are others that feel the same way. These feelings are not uncommon and are most likely due to the emotional and psychological baggage we all carry around relating to our money, otherwise known as our money scripts. And, as with most of the baggage we’ve lugged into our adult lives, these scripts usually start forming at a very young age.
Even though we may not be aware of it, we spend our childhood picking up on how our parents and other significant role models relate to and handle money, and over time, our brains are subconsciously trained to respond in similar ways. If your parents were confident in their ability to make wise investments, you will likely face investing with confidence as well. Contrarily, if you experienced your parents scrounging to get by and often quarreling over expenses, you may experience some pretty strong feelings of guilt when making certain purchases.
The seeds of money scripts are planted in childhood, watered by observation, and eventually grow to influence your emotional beliefs about finances as an adult. For this reason, it is vital to be intentional and diligent in talking to your kids about money and modeling healthy financial behaviors. It is just as important to take the time to examine yourself and understand your money scripts and how they influence your financial behavior.
The Negative Side of Money Scripts
To be fair, not all money scripts are bad. Some behaviors we learn plant seeds for beneficial emotions about finances. However, other behaviors, such as money avoidance, focus on financial status, or the idolization and even worship of money, can be flat-out detrimental. Unhealthy emotions and belief patterns can lead to all kinds of financial problems, such as financial infidelity, compulsive buying, pathological gambling, and financial dependence. Certain money scripts have been tied to lower levels of net worth, lower income, and higher amounts of revolving credit.
Those may sound extreme, but have you ever let panic during a market downturn take your focus off of your long-term investing plan? Have you ever been unable to make a decision because you were paralyzed with worry and anxiety about the future? Have you ever wreaked havoc on your budget for the momentary high of acquiring something you really wanted? All of these behaviors stem from your personal money script.
Money Scripts Can Be Changed
We often think that if we had more money, we wouldn’t have any problems. But we have money problems because of how we approach money, not necessarily because we don’t have enough. This is good news! We might not be able to drastically increase our income, but we can learn to control our attitudes and perceptions. Our money scripts may be ingrained from childhood, but they are not permanent. With a focused and concerted effort, they can be changed.
The first step you must take in overcoming your money scripts is to identify them. To do this, you must become aware of your emotional responses to common financial situations. Begin to stop and notice your emotional responses to these common experiences:
- Earning money
- Buying things
- Saving for the future
- Budgeting and tracking expenses
- Making financial decisions
- Volatile markets
- Healthy markets
- Meeting with a financial professional
- Thinking about your financial future
How do these things make you feel? Anything that elicits strong emotions warrants further reflection. Keep in mind that negative emotions are not the only ones that can harm your financial life. Some positive emotions, like optimism and self-confidence, can bring about negative results if unwarranted and left unchecked.
How to Manage Emotional Money Decisions
The key to changing your money scripts and developing healthier money habits is learning to control your emotions. You can also build some new, healthy habits that protect you financially and incorporate them into your life. Habits and disciplines such as taking advantage of automatic savings, investing through your bank or employer’s retirement plan, scheduling regular family budget meetings, and enlisting the help of someone reliable to keep you accountable are great places to start. Eventually, you will learn how you respond to emotional triggers and you can then take steps, like mandating a “cooling off” period for yourself, before making any decisions.
Finally, you need to be willing to forgive yourself when you make mistakes. Leave the past in the past and move forward with the new knowledge you have gained. Choosing to forgive yourself for past mistakes frees you up to be more effective with your new tools. As you begin to collect victories, both big and small, you will likely find it even easier to extend forgiveness.
Your Trusted Financial Guide
Choosing a financial advisor is a big decision, and it’s essential that you feel confident and at ease with the person you select. At Cobalt Private Wealth, we believe financial planning isn’t a one-time event—it’s a continuous partnership, and I’m committed to guiding you through every phase.
If you’re interested in getting started, book a call by reaching out to me at danielkorleski@cobaltprivatewealth.com or 719-332-3863 to schedule a meeting. Let’s determine if we’re the right fit to work together on your financial journey.
About Dan
Daniel Korleski is the President & CEO for Cobalt Private Wealth, where he helps his clients grow, manage, and protect their wealth so they can work toward a stronger financial future. With over 30 years of experience in the financial services industry, Dan has served as the managing director for Investment Trust Company, chief investment officer for the Wealth Management Group at American National Bank in Denver, and regional investment manager for the Greater Colorado Region of the Private Bank at Wells Fargo, where he oversaw the management of over $2 billion. In 2008, he was appointed by the mayor of Colorado Springs to the City’s Investment Advisory Committee. Dan holds an MBA in investment management from Midwestern State University in Wichita Falls, Texas, a Bachelor of Science in Finance from Florida State University, and is a member of both the CFA Society Colorado and The Financial Planning Association.
Dan loves to give of his time to his community and is currently serving as the Board Chair of Catholic Charities of Central Colorado and oversees the Homebound Ministry at St. Paul Catholic Church. He has also served as Chair of the Board of Trustees of Pikes Peak Hospice Foundation, President of the Broadmoor Rotary Club, and Vice President of the Board for the Pikes Peak Chapter of Trout Unlimited. Dan was born and raised in Spain and is fluent in Spanish. To learn more about Dan, connect with him on LinkedIn.
